Rebuilding Professional Credibility: Scott’s Story

I can try to explain what I do, but more often it’s easier to connect through a real story. I’m truly grateful to my client Scott, a software engineering director, for being willing to share part of his journey.

Hitting Bottom at Work

When Martha asked me to share my story, I cringed. It felt scary and vulnerable, but if you can see yourself in it, or help someone else who’s struggling, then it’s worth telling.

I was (and luckily still am) Director of Engineering at a health tech company, overseeing six engineering managers. Each of those managers had teams of eight to twelve people, which meant nearly seventy-five people looked to me for direction. On top of that, I carried cross-functional responsibilities that connected my department with marketing, product development, and customer operations.

At my best, I was respected and on a perfect trajectory. I had a strong reputation and was the go-to guy for solving hard problems. I’d get everyone together and we would find the root cause without blaming and get real fixes in place quickly.

As my drinking and drug use took a stronger hold, I became a ghost in my own role. My directors carried the weight. They weren’t just leading their own teams; they were covering my cross-functional duties, attending strategy meetings in my place, solving the tough problems, and running interference when I dropped the ball. And I wasn’t exactly grateful. When I did show up, I’d point fingers, criticize decisions, and create doubt in what was, I am sure, great work.

The Breaking Point

I remember one incident in particular: two of my directors stayed late for weeks on end, trying to resolve a system integration issue I was supposed to be managing. I would leave at lunch without checking in and never make it back to the office. They solved it and I didn’t even thank them.

Another time, when our product release hit a snag, my managers stepped in to coordinate cross-functional fixes. I showed up at the final meeting, acted as if I had been involved all along, took the credit, and left without recognizing the effort that had really saved us.

Those moments haunted me when I got sober and as I returned to work. I had already apologized to my team and acknowledged the damage. But every day I walked back into work, shame whispered in my ear: They’ll never respect you again. You don’t deserve their trust. I would cringe and hide in my office, working in isolation.

I was also sure people were watching, waiting for me to fail. Conversations would stop when I walked into a room. More than once, I heard: “No worries, boss, we got this.” What I internalized was, “We don’t need you to screw it up now.” They laughed, but I knew there was truth underneath. I began to wonder if I would ever really get back on my game.

A Different Kind of Help

My VP, the one who had encouraged me to get help and connected me to treatment through our EAP, periodically checked in. One of the times he stopped by, I admitted I was thinking of leaving. I told him maybe it would be better for everyone if I started over somewhere else.

He shook his head no. He said he would truly hate that: losing my expertise, losing me, losing the years of investment and knowledge I carried about the company. Then he added something I didn’t expect. “HR mentioned recovery coaching,” he said. “Would you be open to it?” I wasn’t really sure what it was. I was already going to AA, and I didn’t feel I needed therapy. But I could see that while AA gave me fellowship and a sponsor to work my 12-step program, and therapy had helped me process some of the past, I still didn’t know how to move forward at work. I wasn’t in a good place. I was willing to try anything.

That’s where coaching came in.

Rebuilding Step by Step

From our very first session, Martha created a safe, non-judgmental, and confidential space. It wasn’t about rehashing my failures. She helped me recognize that I had already made apologies and what mattered now was how I showed up day to day.

Before coaching, I was either trying to insert myself and quick to make decisions without asking others for their thoughts to show I still had it or completely withdrawing. I didn’t give my team the consideration they deserved, and I often came across as ungrateful or dismissive. I stayed on the sidelines in group settings, and when I did speak, I tended to shut conversations down instead of inviting others in.

Martha challenged me to stretch those habits. At first, it felt forced and really uncomfortable. I tried slowing down, asking for input, and resisting the urge to jump in and cut people off. To my surprise, when I gave them space, my team had incredible ideas I never would have heard otherwise. Instead of me carrying the conversation, it became a real exchange.

I also started making a point to express gratitude not a quick “good job,” but specific thanks for the extra effort people were putting in. That simple act shifted the energy more than I expected. At first, my team was reluctant, almost waiting for the old me to show up again. But slowly, they realized I was serious. The tension that once filled our meetings gave way to laughter. People leaned in rather than braced themselves.

For the first time in years, going to work didn’t feel like punishment or penance. It felt like being part of something not because I needed recognition, but because I was contributing to a team that trusted me again. Colleagues began pulling me back into problem-solving not out of obligation, but because they trusted me again.

Living Proof

Recovery isn’t just about staying sober. It’s about repairing relationships, restoring credibility, and rebuilding trust. Coaching gave me the roadmap and the accountability to move from shame into alignment to live congruently with my values and beliefs.

If you’re in the place I was, wondering if living sober is even possible, if credibility can ever be rebuilt, or if relationships can be more than transactional, I’m proof that it can. Not through one grand gesture, but through daily actions that slowly rewrite how people experience you.

Recovery coaching helped me reflect, be intentional and gave me the structure, goals, and accountability I needed to move past shame and become a valued contributor again.

Congruism’s Commitment

At Congruism, we believe recovery is universal. Whether it’s alcohol, drugs, food, gambling, shopping, gaming, or phone use, the path forward shares common ground. Healing the wreckage, restoring purpose, rebuilding trust—these are journeys we all deserve to take.

Our Recovery Coaches walk alongside individuals through the 3 R’s™ Repairing relationships, Restoring credibility, and Rebuilding trust. We are the third pillar of the Recovery Trifecta ^TM offering reflection, insight, structure, accountability, and a clear plan so recovery becomes not only possible but sustainable no matter the addiction.

To learn more about how Recovery Coaching can support you, no matter the addiction, visit Congruism.com